Dealing With Our Anger
Anger is an emotion that can cause a lot of harm and get people into a lot of trouble, but anger in itself isn’t bad sometimes. In fact, experiencing righteous anger towards injustice can be positive for change. There are times that we should be angry about injustice.
Us as believers are always used to hearing the saying that we should be slow to anger for (Numbers 14:18) says “ The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion.”
But what about (Psalms 7:11) when it says “God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked everyday.”
We all experience anger , and it is a regular emotion for us to have sometimes. But the problem with anger is when it nots dealt with in a healthy way or you know , because we was angry we go out and do something foolish that we regret… That is the anger we are here to talk about today
We definitely don’t want to be living our days suffering from angry thoughts and actions.
We want to find peace and maintain the peace right?
Plus when we live in peace we no longer have to experience anger, not as only an emotion but also physically as well. Anger causes a lot of wear and tear on our bodies because of stress, and feeling stressed can cause us to feel other emotions like depressed , and we don’t want to be feeling all of that right?
Now if you are like me , or how I used to be, and was in denial about having anger issues here are some signs that you may have anger in you:
A) You get aggressive: if you get physically or emotionally aggressive and start punching walls, putting your hands on people, verbally abusing someone, taking physical measures to get even that could be a sign.
B) You become passive aggressive: meaning you may not show your anger in a way of blowing up or shouting, but you may become sarcastic, mean, or bitter towards the other person. You might even start to shut the other person out.
C) You can stay angry for days: you may take up to days or weeks or sometimes months to get over a a problem between you and a person . in other words, holding grudges.
D) You get angry quickly and often: you might get angry at a drop of a dime, and experience more anger more than any other emotion in your life.
E) You blame others: you blame others for your anger and repeatley tell them that if they stopped certain behaviors, you wouldn’t be the way you are.
So if you realized that you might suffer with one or more of those signs and have might have a chance of having anger issues, what can you personally do to solve it ? don’t worry I got ya!
A) Learn to control your anger-: in (Proverbs 29:11) it says “ Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back”. This isn’t saying to bury your anger or not to deal with it , but it means that we should control our anger and how we express it.
B) Another way is to re-evaluate your anger: communication when you feel a way can be hard sometimes, sometimes we can be selfish or prideful, because we only want to get our side out. We as humans find ourselves always wanting to be right. But sometimes we have to stop and put ourselves in the other persons shoes. Sometimes we have to think what If I did, what I did to them, to me.
( James 1:19–20) says “ Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: Yu must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20) Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Gods way of dealing with anger is to be slow to anger.
There was a time where I couldn’t understand my own anger and I had to take time to reflect on myself to see if maybe I was the problem. That is when I found out that I used to be quick to anger about a lot of things that was unnecessary . That’s when I realized that I had anger problems. there are some things that you need to just let roll off of your shoulders or somethings you need to sit back and think to yourself is this worth getting mad at? When you re-evaluate a persons words or actions, you often find that there is no need to get angry.
Maybe that person was truly trying to help you out for your benefit , or thier actions wasn’t truly to hurt you. But even if that persons intention was to harm you. Is what they are trying to rise out of you , that anger, worth it ? is it worth ruining your peace?
Yelling and fighting with the other is not going to allow you to see each others side of things and help bridge that gap to understanding. I encourage you all to practice re-evaluation the next time you find yourself starting to get angry.(Proverbs 15:1) says “ A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
C) Another way for dealing with your anger is to release it: Now when I say release it I don’t mean cause a crazy roc-us, When you deal with anger the way that God intends you to , you feel the emotion , vent it out in a safe way ( like maybe talking to one of your loved ones about it, talking to a therapist or preacher, or who knows maybe even throwing some old plates out on the concrete, Ive been there!) either way do it in a safe way where you are not harming nobody, and then release the feeling. Release anger from your body , heart and mind. (Colossians 3:8) says “ But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language”.
D) Another thing is if you are feeling constantly in a state of rage or always blowing up this could mean that maybe something else is going on. Maybe its not just anger maybe there is some past hurts and grudges that you have to let go of, maybe there is some childhood trama in there. Whatever the case may be , finding the source of your anger is an opportunity to learn how to manage your anger better.
Forgiveness is also a big thing that I feel goes along with anger. When I was super angry, I found that it wasn’t just the problems that I was facing at the moment that was quick to make me feel angry but I also realized that it was apart of my childhoof trauma of feeling abandoned that triggered inside me. And I needed to find time to forgive those past hurts and wounds. I had to forgive the person for the trauma they caused me ( even if they didn’t realize the pain that they caused) and because sometimes I didn’t get the closure that I needed , I had to forgive the pain that the person caused me. Not to make that person valid of their actions or approving what they did to me, But forgiving them so that I could have a peace of mind. Along with all of that forgiving and building up my peace I learned that I also became more wise to not put myself back into certain situations. I became more wise to choose what Is worth being angry at and what is not. The more times that I found myself being angry was the more I found myself making foolish decisions. In (Proverbs 14:29) says “ People with understanding control their anger, a hot temper shows great foolishness”.
What does it look like when you have mastered the skill of controlling anger? :
A) Somethings that I felt when I started to control my anger is the beauty of life. I started to see that the less I was angry the more I could be more happy about life and enjoy life more .To know that the things, people , or lessons that came in my life was all a blessing to either make me stronger or see that there were better things out there to not disturb my journey of peace.
B) When you eliminate anger you start to be more self aware and would first try to understand the true souce of your anger before you react. You are gaining more self control when you are doing that, and self control is listed in the bible as one of the fruits of the Spirit, which is a sign that Christ is in us (Galations 5:22–23) reads “ But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” so once we we own these fruits in our body , God’s Spirit is with us and in us, and we have the authority to keep those fruits !
C) When you have mastered the skill of controlling your anger the way that God wants you to: you start to find yourself curious and you start to explore your feelings. You start to question before you react if you are misplacing blame, or harboring any untrue belief about yourself or others, you are quick to show compassion and grace.
Controlling your anger is a process so do not beat yourself in the head if you get it wrong a couple times. That also doesn’t mean to take your time on the process, if you know that you might have a problem, try your best to fix It. It is not about if you are right or wrong this is about YOUR peace. strive to be better in whatever you do.
If you are battling anger, here is a good prayer to pray to our Father : “ God protect me from sin when I feel angry. Lord , bless me and keep me, make your face shine upon me. Turn your face towards me and give me peace. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen”
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